Kuromeo and Huliet
by bunnyb
Summary: The rating is just to be safe, but I'm positive about the genre - if you don't chuckle, you get your money back! Oh ... wait ... you don't have to pay to read this ...


A/N: This is my first YYH fic, and I know it is very strange, but I've wanted to write one ever since I first read the manga. I finally did! Yay! I'm sorry that all of the lines aren't perfect, but I did this from memory. Plus I may have changed a word or two, just so it was a little less strange. Not that being less strange is really possible … anyway, this is OOC because it's all done in humor. So feel free to giggle. And to review, too.  
  
Disclaimer: Everything belongs to … not me. So don't sue please, I am poor.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Kuromeo and Huliet  
  
Kuwabara, in a drunken frenzy, had grabbed Kurama's Rose Whip and nailed Yusuke with it, right on his rear end. Laughing insanely, he dashed back inside of Genkai's house.  
  
"He jests at scars that never felt a wound," moaned Yusuke.  
  
Kurama and Keiko stared at him blankly for a couple of seconds.  
  
"What the hell did I just say?" asked Yusuke.  
  
"Maybe it's time for you to lay off the sake," suggested Keiko.  
  
The full moon had just reached its peak in the center of the sky when suddenly Hiei appeared on the roof, dressed in flowing robes.  
  
"But soft, what light through yonder window breaks?" asked Kurama, quickly drawing in a breath.  
  
"I didn't break a window, I swear," said Yusuke.  
  
"It is the East! And Hiei is the sun," said Kurama.  
  
"Sun? Fire, yes. Sun, I don't see," Yusuke.  
  
"Maybe Hiei's decided to become a sun demon," offered Keiko.  
  
"You just can't change your demonism," said Yusuke.  
  
"Arise fair sun, and kill the envious moon, who is already sick and pale with grief that thou her maid art far more fair than she!" quipped Kurama, awestruck still.  
  
"Hiei's going to destroy the moon?" asked Keiko. "I don't think that's such a good idea. I mean, the tides would be all off kilter! And not to mention how dark it would be."  
  
"Did someone say 'fight'? Or 'kill' maybe?" asked Kuwabara, returning from inside the house, still with Kurama's Rose Whip.  
  
"I'll fight with you!" said Yusuke. "You smacked me in the ass with that thing, it's time to return the favor!" Yusuke and Kuwabara began to scuffle.  
  
Hiei, unaware of his admirer, began to strike a pose quite prettily on the roof.  
  
"Be not her maid, since she is envious! Her vestal livery is sick and green, and none but fools do wear it! Cast it off!" said Kurama.  
  
"Are you calling me a fool?" asked Kuwabara, right before Yusuke socked him.  
  
"Are you asking him to get naked?" whispered Keiko fearfully. "Because that's not something I want to see."  
  
"What's going on out here?" asked Botan.  
  
"It is my daisy, it is my love! Oh that he knew he were!" Kurama whispered.  
  
"Okaaaay, then," said Botan.  
  
"He speaks, yet he says nothing. His eye discourses, I will answer it."  
  
"His Jagan?" asked Botan. "That can't be good if he's using that thing! Is there an enemy nearby?"  
  
"Idiots yes, enemy no," said Keiko, pointing to where Yusuke and Kuwabara were still going at it.  
  
"Ahh, indeed," said Botan. Hiei struck another pose.  
  
"I am too bold, 'tis not to me he speaks," murmured Kurama sadly.  
  
"I think he's lip synching to Vogue, actually," said Botan. "I mean, he keeps striking those poses."  
  
"Don't just stand there let's get to it, strike a pose there's nothing to it, vogue," sang Yusuke and Kuwabara together, in perfect harmony.  
  
Botan and Keiko stared at them.  
  
"We didn't just hear that," said Keiko.  
  
"Hmm? Hear what?" asked Botan.  
  
"Two of the fairest stars in all the heavens, having some business, do entreat his eyes to sparkle in their depths … the light in his eyes would shame those stars, as daylight doth a lamp," said Kurama, dreamily.  
  
"Wouldn't you need three stars, for his third eye?" asked Botan, as Hiei struck yet another pose.  
  
"Well, he keeps it covered most of the time," said Keiko. "So maybe not."  
  
"His eyes shine with such a light that birds would sing and think it were not night!" said Kurama.  
  
"What about the nightingale?" asked Keiko. "That bird sings at night, which kind of defeats the purpose."  
  
"I fail to see a purpose in any of this," said Botan. Hiei struck another exotic pose, and he rested one hand upon his cheek.  
  
"Oh, see how he rests his hand upon his cheek! Would I be a glove upon his hand, that I might touch that cheek!" sighed Kurama.  
  
"You want to touch Hiei's ass?" asked Yusuke.  
  
"Not THAT kind of cheek," said Botan. Both girls gave him a rather disgusted look.  
  
"Kurama, what is with you tonight?" asked Kuwabara, shaking his head. But Kurama seemed off in his own world as he continued to watch Hiei.  
  
"Guess whose going to sleep with their Leonardo DiCaprio cut out tonight?" snickered Yusuke.  
  
"I do NOT have a Leonardo DiCaprio cut out," said Kuwabara angrily.  
  
"I didn't mean YOU moron," said Yusuke.  
  
"Who are you calling a moron?" asked Kuwabara. They proceeded to beat upon each other with their fists again.  
  
"Aye me," said Keiko, shaking her head.  
  
"Boys will be boys," said Botan.  
  
"Well, in Hiei's case, I'm actually not real sure," said Keiko.  
  
"Hmm, well. I cam out earlier to tell you about the great Lifetime movie on – it's one of my personal favorites: My Stepson My Lover. Want to watch?" asked Botan.  
  
"As long as it isn't Shakespeare," said Keiko, as the two entered the house, leaving the boys to fight, pose, and quote. Or whatever.  
  
The End 


End file.
